


endings are the hardest to write

by Lewdsuke



Series: Iwaizumi/Oikawa [12]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Crying, Dubious Consent, Dubious Morality, Lies, M/M, Manipulation, Non-Explicit Sex, everything is dubious actually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2020-07-27 02:01:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20038060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lewdsuke/pseuds/Lewdsuke
Summary: Iwaizumi believes in the Oikawa who's strong and determined. He's too innocent.Ushijima believes in the Oikawa who's effortlessly amazing. He's too trusting.Kageyama believes in the Oikawa who's an admirable role model. He's too naive.Oikawa wishes it didn't feel so good.





	1. Intro - confliction

Oikawa Tooru is strong, hard-working, determined, tenacious. He is a leader that gets the most out of the people who trust him, and in turn he gives them his trust. He inspires people with his dedication and optimism. He is handsome and charming and charismatic. Most people would say that Oikawa is the closest thing there is to perfect.

But Iwaizumi knows better. He knows the flaws that come with each of his strengths. He knows that because Oikawa is strong and hard-working and determined, he overworks himself to the point of break. He knows that because Oikawa is an amazing and inspirational leader, he forces himself to be something he’s not and loses himself.

He knows that because he is handsome and charming and charismatic he can coax his best friend into making out with him in the supply closet during school until their pants feel too tight and they’re forced to go even further.

Iwaizumi can’t help but indulge him. He knows that it’s wrong because they’re not even dating. He knows he’s not the only one being coaxed because he finds hickies on Oikawa’s torso that are definitely not from him.

It makes Iwaizumi want to scream when he hears people call his best friend a slut, or a dog, or a player like _ they _know him. They don’t know him. Iwaizumi knows him. He knows everything about him.

And he knows that Oikawa isn’t who everyone thinks he is.

\- - -

Iwaizumi, however, also knows that Oikawa is extremely good at hiding things. Important things. So, he might not know everything about his best friend.

\- - -

Iwaizumi is observant, sure. But even so, no one will ever know Oikawa like he knows himself. No one needs to tell him how good or bad he is or isn’t because he already gets it. And if Iwaizumi wants to think that deep down, Oikawa is still a good person, then who is he to stop him? It’s refreshing, having a friend like Iwaizumi.

Maybe if Oikawa could take back all of his mistakes and rectify all his sins, well, maybe he could’ve had something more than what he currently has with his best friend.

_ Friends with benefits_. It even has a nasty ring to it.

Most people might think that becoming sex friends is fun and relieving. But Oikawa wishes he had never downgraded the friendship he had with Iwaizumi to childhood friends who fuck around in the school’s supply closet occasionally.

He hears people call him vulgar names and he sees Iwaizumi’s jaw tighten at every word and he thinks it’s sweet how defensive he gets. He wants to appreciate it, but he knows Iwaizumi is just being naive.

It hurts, sometimes, to have a best friend as kind and encouraging as Iwaizumi is to Oikawa.

Oikawa sees the look in Iwaizumi’s eyes as he grabs the raven’s wrist and pulls him over to that closet. Confliction.

Iwaizumi tries to argue but Oikawa hushes him with a kiss. Confliction.

Oikawa massages Iwaizumi’s tense and troubled shoulders until he relaxes and lets the brunette do as he pleases. Confliction.

Iwaizumi’s body is hot while Oikawa grinds against his hip because he doesn’t know how to say no to something he wants so bad. Confliction.

Oikawa sees it all. 

  
  


_ And it shouldn’t be this fucking fun to play with his best friend’s feelings. _

  
  


It shouldn’t feel so good to see the regret in his best friend’s eyes while he bounces on his dick.

It isn’t supposed to feel this fucking good to control someone so innocent.

But it’s not his fault Iwaizumi is too dumb to think with anything but his cock.

Right?


	2. 2 - discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> intro part 2
> 
> Iwaizumi doesn't want to be lied to any longer.
> 
> (I'll work on longer chapters after this)

It happens nearly every week.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa whispers under his breath. They’re standing in the hallway talking to their other friends when Oikawa glances at him and walks away.

And Iwaizumi always follows.

He hopes the others don’t think anything of it. They probably don’t know where they’re going.

Wishful thinking isn’t always a bad thing.

Everyone knows what he and Oikawa are up to, but at least Iwaizumi can hope they don’t.

He can hope no one notices when Oikawa shoves him into the tight, cluttered closet. He can hope no one hears the thud sound that happens when he pushes the brunette against the wall.

And he wishes Oikawa would stop moaning in his ear, whispering sweet things there, saying, “Ah, Iwa-chan~ I love you, you’re so good, so good,” because Iwaizumi hates the effect it has on him.

Because he loves Oikawa, because he thinks _Oikawa_ is so good, because Oikawa is the only person he’s been with but he knows that none of that is true for Oikawa.

No matter how much he hates it, he still goes in that closet and pushes his fingers into Oikawa’s mouth because his best friend says he doesn’t feel like wasting money on lube. And he lets Oikawa sink to his knees and wrap his mouth around his dick, and pretends that he doesn’t feel that smile and see those dark eyes looking up at him.

“T-Tooru,” he whispers, gasps, moans, while Oikawa snickers and turns around, pressing his chest against the wall, arching his back and grinding his ass against Iwaizumi, the way he knows drives the raven insane.

He likes to pretend it’s all real.

\- - -

It almost makes Oikawa angry how easy it is to toy with Iwaizumi. He originally expected there to be more of a fight, considering how stubborn Iwaizumi was. But instead he melted into Oikawa’s arms, infatuated by the sound of his voice and drawn in by the encouraging words.

Oikawa wondered if Iwaizumi would forgive him after everything.

But the answer was easy.

Obviously Iwaizumi would forgive him -- always has and always will.

He forgave Oikawa when they were kids and he’d break his toys. He forgave Oikawa when he ditched the plans they made on Iwaizumi’s birthday to play volleyball.

Every mistake Oikawa made, Iwaizumi would quickly forgive him. He might slap him on the head or something, but nothing more.

It was comforting.

But now Iwaizumi was starting to scare Oikawa.

\- - -

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa whispers, nudging his best friend’s arm.

Iwaizumi knows what Oikawa wants, but today he’s not going to give in. He _can’t_ give in.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa tries again, inching closer to the ace until their arms are pressed together.

Iwaizumi ignores him. He focuses on Hanamaki and Matsukawa, who’re talking about some new actress they like. He isn’t really paying attention, he's just trying to focus on someone other than Oikawa.

But Oikawa is relentless. “Hajime, I really need you right now,” he whispers again, this time right into his friend’s ear, his lips brushing against his skin.

And Iwaizumi sucks in his breath. He jerks his head away from Oikawa and turns around and walks away, and Oikawa knows that he’s got him.

He knows, at least, until Iwaizumi walks right past their usual closet. “Iwa-chan, where—“

“Roof,” Iwaizumi answers gruffly. There are goosebumps on his neck and Oikawa resists the urge to run his finger across them and watch him shiver.

He follows Iwaizumi all the way upstairs and through the unlocked door to the roof of the school. It’s warm.

“What do you—“

Iwaizumi whips around and grabs Oikawa’s arms and slams him against the wall, and Oikawa is getting tired of being interrupted.

Iwaizumi leans in close, his lips pressed against the brunette’s chin, “What the fuck are trying to do?” He hisses.

“What do you mean? I thought it was obvious,” Oikawa replies, each word burning his tongue. His mouth is dry but he’s loving the the warm lips against his chin, the desperate words that Iwaizumi growls.

“Stop it. Stop lying to me.” Iwaizumi’s lips are trembling, so his head falls onto Oikawa’s shoulders.

Oikawa takes a deep breath to compose himself, holding onto Iwaizumi’s arms, “Iwa-chan, are you okay?” He asks sweetly, his heart beating faster.

But Iwaizumi doesn’t buy it. He grips the collar of Oikawa’s jacket and slams him against the wall again, “Don’t play with me, Tooru. I know what you did to Kageyama.”

Oikawa thinks his heart stops beating because the breath gets caught in his throat and the spikes of Iwaizumi’s hair on his shoulder are blurrier than before.

_Iwaizumi wasn’t supposed to find out about that._


	3. 3 - confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woah I updated? Incredible. I present to you the next chapter of this shit show.
> 
> Attention: this chapter contains oikage, slight underage, no explicit details tho

It really was a coincidence. Why would Oikawa ever want to purposefully see Tobio? 

Well, it wasn't a complete coincidence, because he had gone to watch the Kitagawa Daiichi game that day. He was, though, considerably amused at how much Tobio had changed. He was angry and demanding, not sweet and starry-eyed like Oikawa remembered. And then... it happened.

Kindaichi and Kunimi and the rest of his teammates just abandoned him in the middle of the court.

Oikawa couldn't help but smile as he saw Tobio benched after that because, fuck, he knew what that felt like.

He visited with his old teammates after the game, unsurprised to see that Tobio wasn't with them. When he left them, he ran into Tobio.

And Oikawa wanted to stop, but he couldn't help himself.

He was frustrated. He was frustrated with his upperclassmen at Aoba Johsai, frustrated with Iwaizumi catching up with him in volleyball, and suddenly here came Tobio.

Tobio, who was just as frustrated and angry as him.

It was almost too easy.

"Yahoo~! Tobio-chan! That was a good game!"

Tobio shot Oikawa a glare. They both knew that that game was anything but good.

"Oikawa-san."

His tone wasn't as cold as Oikawa expected it to be. It was sad, if anything, and his lips were pushed into a small pout.

"I saw what happened."

Tobio sighed and looked at the floor. There was nothing more humiliating to him than having Oikawa Tooru, the boy he looked up to for so long, witness his failure. The boy he always strived to surpass.

"They... weren't fast enough."

Oikawa laughed lightly at the comment, daring to walk closer to the younger boy, "You know that's not their fault, Tobio-chan." 

Tobio's muscles tightened and his eyes narrowed, still fixated on the floor, "...I know," he said, barely above a whisper. He knew.

"You've gotten much better than them, huh?"

Tobio finally looked up at Oikawa, his eyes large and dismal.

So then, Oikawa held out his arms in invitation, a pleasant smile on his face.

"What are you doing?" Tobio grumbled as he looked the brunette up and down.

Oikawa shrugged, although he knew exactly what he was doing.

Tobio gave him one last long look before carefully walking into those outstretched arms, resting his forehead on the older's shoulder.

It made Oikawa realize how much Tobio had grown in the past two years. He wasn't so small and cute. His muscles were defined and his face wasn't chubby anymore.

Oikawa wrapped his arms around Tobio and gently rubbed his back, "Don't let it get to you."

"I made us lose the game," Tobio said, his voice small as he spoke into Oikawa's shoulder.

"Yeah, you did," Oikawa replied, and Tobio flinched, "But it's not the end of the world. Your thinking was much quicker than theirs was, imagine what you could if you could match up with your teammates."

Oikawa wanted to gag as he spoke, but Tobio was beginning to relax into his embrace, so he knew he was saying the right things.

"I could... help you out."

Tobio gasped and looked up at Oikawa, "You never wanted to help me. You always rejected me."

"People change, Tobio-chan," Oikawa whined as he ran his hand over Tobio's soft hair, "Let's jog to my place?"

Oikawa wasn't sure why he felt possessed to ask. There was just something bitter boiling inside him. It's been boiling ever since he met Tobio, ever since he saw how quickly he progressed and the immense potential he had as a setter.

But Tobio was too dense. He was far too naive and trusting. He started to look up to Oikawa when he should've just fought to beat him. All those mistakes add up, and they added up to this moment.

So after Tobio went back to the school with his team, Oikawa waited for him.

"You're... awfully tall now... Tobio-chan," Oikawa grinned as he jogged beside the younger boy.

Tobio grunted and glanced at Oikawa.

"178 centimeters," he finally said.

"Wah! You're as tall as Iwa-chan now!" Oikawa laughed, as he finally slowed to a stop in front of his house.

He smiled and opened the door for Tobio, who didn't look at him as he walked in, "Pardon the intrusion."

"My parents aren't home. They're visiting my sister for the weekend," Oikawa explained.

Tobio nodded in acknowledgementment, "Oh. Um, how is Iwaizumi-san?"

Oikawa's smile faltered, "Ah, Iwa-chan is good. Just as mean and brutish as he used to be."

Tobio raised an eyebrow, but said nothing as they took their shoes off, then followed Oikawa up to his room.

It was messier than he imagined it, with volleyball magazines he'd collected over the years scattered on the floor and some athletic wear strewn at the foot of his bed.

"Sorry for the mess," Oikawa chuckled as guided Tobio into his room and closed the door behind him.

"It's fine," Tobio replied. It was what he was used to in his own room, to be honest.

Oikawa ran a hand through his hair and watched as Tobio looked around his room, "You can sit down," he said, his voice suddenly an octave lower than before. Tobio looked at him warily for a second before seating himself on the bed. Oikawa smirked. He sat down beside him and stretched his arms, "Do you mind if I take off my shirt? I forgot the AC has been acting up."

Tobio's eyes widened for a moment, but he quickly calmed down and shook his head, "It's your house."

Ah. Oikawa fought a grimace. He sounded like Iwaizumi for a second there.

And for a second, Oikawa felt like he'd been shot in the chest at the the thought of Iwaizumi. What would he say about this? Fortunately Oikawa had recently mastered the art of having no regrets, so he shook away the thought and finally pulled off his shirt.

"You feeling any better?" He asked the younger boy, referring to the game from earlier.

Tobio scowled, "I guess," he responded, sounding very unsure.

Oikawa leaned a little closer to him, reveling in the way Tobio would squirm and try not to look at his bare chest.

"Shall I show you something to make you feel better?"

The younger boy squeezes his hands tightly together and tries to keep his nerves under control, "Okay."

And then Oikawa smirks and places a ginger touch on Tobio's thigh, knowing he's won this battle.

\---

Oikawa scowls and yanks Iwaizumi's hands off of his collar. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't fuck with me. I was wondering why Kageyama looked so terrified of you at our practice match. I asked Kindaichi and he said that he recalled Kageyama telling him something about you taking advantage of him." Iwaizumi is seething, Oikawa can tell from the way he's clenching and unclenching his fists.

Still, he says nothing, and Iwaizumi takes a deep breath, unable to relax.

"And so I asked Kageyama about it. And he told me the same thing — that you took advantage of him. He wouldn't tell me more than that, but I could tell he was disturbed."

This time Iwaizumi stares him down, not letting Oikawa run away from confrontation.

So he doesn't.

Instead he smirks and puts his hands on hips, "So what if I did? It's not like I forced him to do anything. He let me touch him," he knows he should probably stop talking, "He _wanted_ it, Iwa-chan, it's not my fault if he regretted it—"

Iwaizumi punches him across the face, causing Oikawa to stumble, barely maintaining his balance. He looks at his friend in horror. Iwaizumi has never hit him like that before, never out of pure anger like that.

"I'm done with this," Iwaizumi spits, turning on his heel and leaving Oikawa on the roof, cupping his bruising cheek.

Then Oikawa bites his lip to muffle a smile, he cackles to hide the tears in his eyes. Then he breaks into a pained grin, already willing away the memory of what had just happened.

**Author's Note:**

> Just an intro to yet another angsty fanfiction im writing. just a heads up, if you plan to stick around for more, dont! expect! a! happy! ending! 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this little intro, please comment any thoughts you may have (or any grammar mistakes i made because i hate those)


End file.
